40 tips for survival in horror movies

When the house you live in speaks to you with the words: "Get out of here!". Then do it, and fast!
Never take a shower when a maniac is around!
If you find your house was built on or near an old cemetery, sell it!
If body fluids leak out of the bathroom fittings, it is time to carefully move towards the door!
Never look under the bed!
Don't search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out!
If trees, televisions or other objects try to suck in your children, save as many as you can and then run!
If one day deceased relatives or pets visit you, don't hug them as a greeting!
If your furniture or toys are attacking you, don't try to calm them down!
If your children suddenly start talking to you in Latin even though they haven't even started school, shoot them! The same goes for husbands who come at you with an ax.
Always remember to check the back seat of the car before getting in!
If a demon takes over your friend, don't try to convince them to leave!
If you find someone dead leave the house! Don't go to the phone, don't yell, don't drop a vase, just leave the house, damn it!
If you managed to run the madman over, don't get out to see if he's still alive!
A simple basic rule: never solve a puzzle that opens a gate to hell!
Never stand next to, up, in front of, behind or over a grave, a tomb or a cellar door.
Never lie on a bloody mattress.
If you hear a strange noise and then realize that it was just the cat ... Leave the room or you are as good as dead!
If your kitchen appliances suddenly turn on by themselves, leave the house. Especially applies to electric bread knives.
Never accept gifts from the dead!
If priests cross themselves in front of your house, sell it! Today!
When a supernatural phenomenon starts calling your name, don't answer, run!
Never take a hitchhiker with you, especially Santa Clauses, clowns and people in ice hockey masks!
Beware of singing transvestites!
Never negotiate with people who have any of the following things with them: chainsaw, ax, hedge trimmer, circular saw, razor handle, dynamite.
Never answer the phone if you don't really expect a call.
Never say "I'll be right back" when you leave the room. Then you're guaranteed never to come back (the ghosts get the hang of it). Sentences like: "It's over" or "He's dead" are also unadvisable.
Don't drink or take drugs and best of all be a virgin, innocent creatures have the highest chance of survival.
Racing is always a good idea. Expect to fall down at least twice while escaping. If you're a woman, even more often. Even if the monster limps awkwardly, it will catch up with you!
Never take a bath alone in the house!
Don't open the door! Especially not if you hear heavy breathing, scratching, or other strange noises on the other side!
If you are fighting evil in a group, then never break up. Only together is there a chance of survival ...
If you have injured the killer with a weapon (e.g. a kitchen knife) and the killer is lying on the ground and does not move, do not leave the knife near the killer when you leave the place!
If your parents killed a serial killer, you live particularly dangerously.
Avoid dealing with people with noticeable hair, sharp teeth, strange masks, and those who suddenly speak Latin.
If your friend suddenly enters the room again after leaving the room and is strangely masked and does not say a word and otherwise seems quite strange, it is best to leave the room quickly. Your treasure is long dead!
Hang mirrors all over your home. Many a Michael Myers victim would have had more chances this way.
Never walk around dark buildings if the music suddenly gets creepy.
Addition to point 33: It is advisable not to let the killer lying on the ground out of sight for a minute until the police or a priest arrives. At every opportunity this disappears inexplicably.
Just don't stick your nose into things that damn it none of your business!

"Dravens Tales from the Crypt" has been enchanting for over 15 years with a tasteless mixture of humor, serious journalism - for current events and unbalanced reporting in the press politics - and zombies, garnished with lots of art, entertainment and punk rock. Draven has turned his hobby into a popular brand that cannot be classified.

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